I hear many people (clients, friends, and family) talk about how they want something more out of their life. A raise, a different job, more friends, their own business, etc. Among much of what I’ve heard, I’ve noticed a common theme: there is a whole lot of thinking, and not much doing. In this blog, I’m proposing that perhaps getting more of what we want isn’t so complicated, and we don’t need an expensive manifesting course to help us, all we have to do is go for it (and there’s science to back this up).
While researching for my e-course coming up this fall, I came across a research study that showed that our own limiting beliefs may be what’s holding us back to being successful. The study involved tests designed to measure the spatial intelligence of male and female students. On the first test males scored 53% while the females scored 43%. The researchers noticed how female students answered less questions than the male students, so for the second test the students were instructed to at least TRY every problem. The results? The female and male students scored statistically the same. So, maybe the solution to feeling ‘stuck’ is to just TRY something different!
While I don’t believe in blindly taking risks, I truly believe that to create a life you love, you’ve got to go out of your comfort zone. Over-planning and the perfectionist-mindset get in the way of creating more freedom, happiness, joy, and anything else you want.
Safety in the comfort zone
The reason many of us stay in our comfort zone is because fear of failure. While failure can be very real and have very real consequences, I believe we amplify the possibilities routes to failure (and often make them seem worse and more probable than they are). What I’ve noticed (and there are studies to back it up), is that experiencing the worst case scenario, can actually lead to more confidence and less fear. In fact, there are countless case studies in the book, The Confidence Code. I’ve also found this to be true in my own life. As I have taken chances in my business and life, I have experienced a number of successes as well as failures. Some have been inevitable (live and learn) and others have been a result of being overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. Through stretching my edge of failure and success, I have a more realistic expectations of what is possible for myself.
One of my mantras that I replay in my mind whenever I find myself overthinking “If you want something different, you have to do something different.” Henry Ford
If you want to be more of an active co-creator in your life instead of passively waiting for someone or something to give you what you what, you’ve got to take action. I recommend starting with smaller things that have less risk (like starting a new hobby, calling friends more often, starting up conversations with interesting people). Over time, the more chances you take, the better you will realistically estimate your abilities.