Curing the Comparison Epidemic

We’ve probably all felt that feeling of comparing ourselves with others and feeling that we’re not measuring up. Bodies, money, career, social hierarchy—we can’t help but observe, notice, and compare.  

We compare for two reasons:

1) To validate that we’re enough

2) To confirm our suspicion that we’re not enough and that we’re not worthy

Comparison can leave us feeling very, very, crappy, unmotivated, and unworthy of whatever it is we want to manifest or create—whether it be a relationship, a goal, or a business.

Questions to ask yourself: 

Is your self-worth or identity dependent on being better than others?

If you weren't trying to be the best, what would your motivation come from?

Unravelling Comparison

Myths:

There is not room for everyone to be successful.  If person x is successful, that decreases my chances of being successful.

Disliking someone for their success will help you get what you want.

 

Truths: 

There is more than enough room at the top of the podium.

Success doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes dedication, commitment, and even setbacks to make your dreams a reality.

When someone has a genuine, beautiful, authentic success that brings more peace and love into the world, we all win.

Success is a process rather than a destination.  Redefine success as integrity, happiness, peace, and heart.

What we focus on expands.

You get to choose what you focus on.  You can focus on other’s peoples work, what other people are doing, or you could focus on what’s present in your life—especially what is going well and what you appreciate.  It’s interesting: If we focus on what we appreciate, we’ll feel happier, people will naturally enjoy our company, and we’ll also generally attract more things we appreciate.

Comparison also has an element of what’s missing and what’s lacking.  While occasionally it can be okay to ask, “what am I missing?” the nature of this question will generally bring up how we’re falling short.  More often than not, brilliant ideas spawn from feeling like we are enough and have enough.

One of my inspirations for the Women’s Gathering this fall is to bring women together.  I notice even in the spiritual community there exist feelings of competition and lack (there’s not enough success for everyone at the table).  How about we work together and lift each other up?