Have you ever gone to a meeting or a course thinking, “this is going to be terrible?” Or maybe going into an event you’ve thought, “this is a waste of time.“ Or maybe, “I’m not going to get anything out of this.”
The funny thing is if we decide something will be something it increases its chance of becoming that.
The same thing would happen if you went into that meeting, course, event thinking:
I wonder what I could learn
I wonder how I can contribute to this project
I wonder if I could support people through this process
More often than not, we find ourselves in situations that are well, less than ideal. What I mean is this: you’re in a situation and you wonder, why is this happening to me? When will this end? This is really uncomfortable.
This blog is not woo-woo. When things feel difficult, unpleasant, or miserable, the reality is you have 2 basic options:
You can decide to dislike/hate the situation. You might be able to think of times when you’ve gone with this option. I remember when I was doing wildlife biology surveying in Colorado and Utah. The days were long and strenuous. Sometimes I fell into a downward spiral of “when is this going to end?” The problem with this option is that it doesn’t bring anything that’s beneficial. It doesn’t usually bring insight or ah-ha moments, it alienates us rather than connecting us, and it basically reinforces the unpleasantness.
You can be real, honest, and authentic with what’s happening. In other words you connect to what’s happening. You might start by acknowledging where you’re at, “oh, it feels like this now.” From this place, you can ask yourself any or all of these questions: Is there anything that needs to be said right now? Is there anything interesting about what is happening…anything I can learn about myself and/or others? Is there anything I can do to help others in this difficult situation? Is there anything I need? Is there a way I can make this experience more fun, engaging, or joyful?
What I’ve noticed in my own life is that when I’ve decided a situation sucks, it reinforces the misery. If I’m open to engaging in a situation, learning, or growing the vibe lifts and often feels slightly or substantially lighter.
You might ask yourself are these two options mutually exclusive. While it is possible to have some overlap or some back and forth. Option 1 has a closed-off feel and there is little or no engagement. The person is “fixed” on feeling terrible. option 2 has an openness to it. There’s an opportunity for growth, learning, and constructive actions that can benefit you and others.
Think about areas of your life…work, relationships, family…what situations are currently difficult for you? Where do you see yourself applying this?
And if you want to dive into this from a holistic view, you've got to check out healing sessions with me. We’ll combine coaching and hands-on healing to work through the issue from the inside out.